Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris once watched an entire episode of 60 minutes in 45 secs.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris once gave his cell phone a brain tumor.
Chuck Norris never learns. He knows.
A Chuck Norris picture is worth a billion words.
Chuck Norris out ran Forrest Gump
Chuck Norris killed the dinosaurs
Chuck Norris can divide by 0
Chuck Norris once played someone in a game of tic tac toe...and won in two moves
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Death once had a near- Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon
Chuck Norris was cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he killed everybody in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
if Chuck Norris can't do it ... who can?
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he downloads a song.
Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
Chuck Norris can build Rome in a day
Chuck Norris has a hemi in his washer and dryer
The boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris before he sleeps
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King ... and got it
Chuck Norris beats paper, rock, AND scissors
Chuck Norris can text from his landline
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds
Chuck Norris once swallowed a lump of coal and pooped out a diamond
Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrissed
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.

Chuck Norris once watched an entire episode of 60 minutes in 45 secs.
Created: 24 Mar 2010 Updated: 19 May 2010 Chuck Norris has somehow managed to achieve cult status among a large number of internet users. There is a growing list of "facts" surrounding Chuck, and this page is my attempt to document some of the more interesting ones. If you've got a Chuck Norris fact you'd like to tell me about, click here to send me an email.
Chuck Norris once watched an entire episode of 60 minutes in 45 secs. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever. Chuck Norris once gave his cell phone a brain tumor. Chuck Norris never learns. He knows. A Chuck Norris picture is worth a billion words. Chuck Norris out ran Forrest Gump Chuck Norris killed the dinosaurs Chuck Norris can divide by 0 Chuck Norris once played someone in a game of tic tac toe...and won in two moves Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone. Death once had a near- Chuck Norris experience. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon Chuck Norris was cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he killed everybody in 12 minutes and 37 seconds. Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first. Chuck Norris can drown a fish. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain. if Chuck Norris can't do it ... who can? Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he downloads a song. Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor. Chuck Norris can build Rome in a day Chuck Norris has a hemi in his washer and dryer The boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris before he sleeps Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King ... and got it Chuck Norris beats paper, rock, AND scissors Chuck Norris can text from his landline Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds Chuck Norris once swallowed a lump of coal and pooped out a diamond Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrissed Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.